Baltimore Bridge Collapse Triggers ‘Before’ and ‘After’ for Survivors, Families

“Today is their August 1st,” I said, gripping my morning coffee cup as I saw the top story blaring at me from my iPhone. A cargo ship in Baltimore lost power and crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge. The span crumbled as if made from toothpicks. As of this writing, six construction workers remain missing.

This accident resembled the Interstate 35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis on Aug. 1, 2007. That bridge, like this one, was built from steel. That bridge, like this one, had construction work occurring on it when it fell. That bridge, like this one, sat over water. That bridge, like this one, fell like dominoes in a few seconds. I couldn’t help but feel a rattling from deep within.

As I physically and emotionally climbed from the rubble in the Twin Cities, I saw my life interrupted by the traumatic event. There was clearly a “before” to life and an “after”. I yearned to return to that “before”. Life felt light and airy. Smiles and laughter simply happened. There was an upward trajectory. The “after,” however, felt the opposite. Life was now numb, heavy, and empty. I felt like that cargo ship in Baltimore Harbor: void of power, directionless, and at the mercy of my environment.

The “before” felt short-term, while the “after” seemed permanent. I couldn’t see past it. I felt cheated, thinking that the trauma unilaterally took me off my destined course. I felt defeated because I didn’t know why I felt how I did and had no clue how to fix it. And I retreated as the intensity of the trauma triggers became too much to handle.

I chewed on all of this as I thought about the Baltimore survivors and the families of those who didn’t. Yesterday was the last day of their “before”. They didn’t know it. They didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to it. And now they’re on Day 1 of “after”. They must feel crushed by the weight of all their feelings at this moment, emotions so intense they feel unbearable.

The “after” can hold joy and movement. It can never be “before,” but it can be like “before” in brief and lasting moments. Getting there takes work and time, but grieving loss happens first.

If today is in your “before,” don’t take it for granted, as it might be your last.

If today is in your “after,” reflect on one moment that brings you peace. Tomorrow, find another. Repeat.

And if today is your “August 1st,” it’s OK to feel all the feelings. It’s OK to shake your fist at the sky. It’s OK to cry, scream, and writhe. Nobody will blame you. You owe nothing to no one.