I asked Jim how he handled being told by doctors that he stood before but one door. He shared that he was buoyed by his Catholic faith and believed his door would open to the other side. He wasn’t angry or resentful. He had a friend in a similar situation who turned insular, shunned friends and family, and started dying before he was dead. Jim opted for the opposite.

Trauma survivors who act this way don’t WANT to act this way. It leaves us guilt-ridden, shameful, and out of control. As we participate in these triggered reactions, it can feel like an out-of-body experience. We feel helpless as we watch a relationship burn to the ground even as we hold the lit match. It leaves us scarred and distrustful also.

Finding your purpose includes understanding your talents and seeking out a way to leverage them. For me, the opportunity might lie just outside my front door.

This accident resembled the Interstate 35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis on Aug. 1, 2007. That bridge, like this one, was built from steel. That bridge, like this one, had construction work occurring on it when it fell. That bridge, like this one, sat over water. That bridge, like this one, fell like dominoes in a few seconds. I couldn’t help but feel a rattling from deep within.

The post-trauma survivor can feel a lot like that misfit mitt unknowingly dropped by a grade-schooler walking home on an early spring afternoon. The world keeps moving while we’re stranded where the event dropped us.

Trauma survivors can have trigger reactions ALL THE TIME. And I did (and do). And the triggers aren’t isolated to situations and events. People can be triggers—even people I love or have loved.

I can’t tell you how many times as a trauma survivor that I have had a “false spring” in my post-trauma journey. I’d have an extended string of good days where the triggers didn’t “trigger”. I felt instances of joy and calmness rather than numbness or despair. It seemed as if the perpetual fog that hung over each day was lifting. But just when I thought I had bested it, the fog would roll back in like I was the San Francisco Bay.

As I recollect the past year on my birthday, I recall my inner battle of holding on versus letting go. It’s a struggle for many on their post-trauma journeys.

In my final act as a former restaurant owner, I take a trip down memory lane and am reminded about what made it so special.

In 2013, a simple billboard popped up along a road in Flint, Michigan. In text only, it read, “I’m Concerned About the Blueberries.” The message prompted a lot of talk in the city of 80,000. Some thought it referred to something religious, civic, or, well, anything and everything. It took seven years until the person who paid for the billboard came forward and shared just what the heck it meant.

Guilt can show itself in different ways for the trauma survivor. Let’s take a look at how. I share 10 tactics you can use to help unweave guilt and shame from the survivor’s sense of self.

When I look back at my own relationships as a complex trauma survivor, I see my own glaring mistakes where I didn’t care for loved ones in the way that I should have, or, more accurately, wanted to. I say “wanted to” because the intent was there but the execution was not. And that’s the really frustrating part. How could that be?

Shame pops up when we are most vulnerable, so it’s no shock that it can stick to us like Velcro following a traumatic event. Our hyper-aroused brains can fixate on our insecurities, and, oh boy, do we have those! This becomes an endless loop that drags us further and further down.

All too often, trauma survivors downplay or minimize their traumatic event for a variety of reasons. But doing so only delays the effort to reclaim life and move forward again.

Triggers can plague the intimate lives of trauma survivors and their partners. How to start to get back on track.

Holidays can provide a reprieve from triggers. Here’s how to successfully tackle triggers when heading back to your daily routine.

So as I pulled these postings from the old website to the new, I also consumed the words that had sat raw on those pages for years. As I ate them, I could taste the bitterness. I coughed up tears as I read some of the things I had penned many years ago. Why such emotion?

What’s SalvageU all about? I explain what this site is and what I’m hoping to accomplish with it.

As a trauma survivor, I’ve had problems with the holidays and being around others. I’ve viewed those “special” times as perilous periods filled with potential pitfalls.

As much as curling is about tossing and sweeping, it’s also about balance. (Yes, there’s a post-trauma life lesson here…)