Fight Shame with Self-Compassion. Here’s How to Do It
Shame pops up when we are most vulnerable, so it’s no shock that it can stick to us like Velcro following a traumatic event. Our hyper-aroused brains can fixate on our insecurities, and, oh boy, do we have those! This becomes an endless loop that drags us further and further down.
Unfortunately, there’s no insta-remedy for shame. Like other aspects of trauma recovery, it takes work to reduce its effects. So how do we do that?
First, don’t be surprised that shame and guilt affect you. Feelings of shame come from triggers. Identifying what triggers your feelings of shame will make managing them easier.
Once you’ve done that, managing those shame triggers happens with self-compassion. That’s not always easy when we’ve built a habit of framing ourselves as at fault for our present situation. However, it’s a rope we can use to pull ourselves up.
I recently came across this article that details eight ways you can practice self-compassion. These include:
Treat yourself as you’d treat a friend
Become more self-aware
Re-gain perspective
Click the link above to learn more about those.
Additionally, the article shares 11 self-compassion affirmations that can be a tremendous asset in our emotional toolkit. These are:
I accept the best and worst aspects of who I am.
Changing is never simple, but it’s easier if I stop being hard on myself.
My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning.
It’s okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.
I am free to let go of others’ judgments.
It’s safe for me to show kindness to myself.
I deserve compassion, tenderness, and empathy from myself.
I release myself with forgiveness from today and move forward with self-love to tomorrow.
Every day is a new opportunity. I won’t let self-doubt or judgment hold me back from the future.
I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect.
I’m not the first person to have felt this way, and I won’t be the last, but I’m growing.
If fighting feelings of shame feels like a constant losing battle, recite these affirmations and know you’re not alone. Trust me, it gets easier with a lot of practice, a little patience, and a deep breath occasionally. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’ve got this!
