Seeing The ‘Hole’ Picture
Ever felt like you were pulled down into the bottom of a deep hole unexpectedly? Perhaps you were laid off from a job. Maybe a relationship that you assumed would last forever ended with the slam of a door and the sound of a car engine dissipating. Perhaps the misfortune was health-related. All of us at one time or another have found ourselves in a situation that seemed to take away our power and our control. External forces had schemed against us. We were the recipient of a bad decision or maybe bad luck. Somehow, some way, we became a victim.
Even worse, once we became that recipient of ill we felt stuck, like a person who had stumbled into a well. Whether we look ahead, to the sides or at our feet the view looks the same: dark. And when we do look up, the heavens seems oh so far out of reach. We are stuck in the present, which leaves us regretting the past and unable to see any future different than where we are today.
I’ve written in previous blog posts about mindfulness. Mindfulness is not the same as overthinking. When we find ourselves in high-stress situations we can tend to freeze up, and a component of this is to overthink. We can obsess over how we got to this current predicament, or the unfairness of the situation, or the myriad other calamities that could befall us because life has gotten so far off track. Overthinking is rumination. We grind and chew up those thoughts to the point that they become mush. What good can possibly come from that?
No, mindfulness is an awakening. Where overthinking takes our power away, mindfulness restores it. It allows us to focus on the present in a way that gives us back our options. Mindfulness allows us to see the present for what it really is and spotlights the absurdities that can creep into our thinking and judgement when all we see and feel is gloom and doom. It gives us the ability to step outside of ourselves and look at the situation through an objective lens. And it puts us in a place where we can begin to act rather than remain frozen and, heaven forbid, become content in our despair.
Mindfulness is a practice. It just doesn’t happen. You don’t just become suddenly awash in enlightenment. The more you practice mindfulness, however, the more natural it becomes. It’s like learning a new skill such as a language. If you study and practice enough, you will one day dream in French.
If you feel stuck today, I encourage you to hop online and seek out mindfulness exercises. There are also smartphone apps that can set you on your course. I can recommend a free one from the U.S. Veterans Administration called Mindfulness (icon is a white leaf).
I’ll leave you with this: “My current situation is not my final destination.” It is important to remember that every situation is temporary (the good ones too!), even in the moment where life feels like it has hit a dead end. Putting your mind in a healthier place is the first step to digging yourself out of that hole.
