Murder on the Dance Floor
I recently decided to don courage disguised as a pair of sneakers and visited a Twin Cities salsa dance studio to learn how to do more with my feet than just walk.
Prior to attending my first lesson, I had watched YouTube videos with the hope that I would pick it up through osmosis. The Latin dancers twirled effortlessly. Their feet swept the floor. The partners glided as if each could read the other’s mind to know the next dance move. It was breathtaking. But when I got to the dance studio, I realized that from watching the videos I had really learned nothing.
The results early on were predictable. I felt extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t stop looking at the instructor’s feet. Then I couldn’t stop looking at my own feet. I worried about tripping over myself. And then I worried about stomping on my partner’s toes. My brain couldn’t stop thinking about the other end of my body.
The first problem I noticed I had was that after a turn I found myself drifting away from my partner, which threw off my ability to be set up correctly for the next move. It was consistently happening and I grew increasingly flustered. The instructor came over and stopped me somewhere around Count #5.
“Your steps are too big,” she remarked. “You are taking too big of a step. So when you step back on count five you create too much space between you and your partner. Your steps should be tiny.”
I thanked her for the advice and we tried again. This time I put focus on the size of my steps. Sure enough, her guidance paid off. The movements went from clumsy to relatively smooth. And I learned a life lesson in the process: The littlest of steps can have the biggest impact.
This had me thinking about trauma recovery and how difficult it can be to “move on,” as we trauma survivors are urged to do. When at the precipice of trauma, normal life can seem to be as difficult to attain as acquiring expert status on the salsa dance floor. “There’s no way!” we might think at the thought of putting that first foot forward. It can feel daunting. The anxiety can feel overwhelming. The feeling of defeat can quickly creep in.
Every salsa dancer, and I mean every single one, started with the same skill level: none. It all began with putting one foot forward. And even more importantly, it needed to be one tiny step. Are you struggling right now? Do you feel frozen or overwhelmed? Does taking even that one tiny step seem incredibly daunting? It’s OK. You’re not alone. Recovering from trauma or crisis or tragedy isn’t a quick fix. Find one thing to do today that can help begin moving you forward.
When I was at my worst, I withdrew socially. I didn’t want others to see me struggling. I didn’t want to look like I was failing or that I couldn’t handle my issues. So for me, joining a beginner dance class is HUGE. And you know what? As nervous as I was entering that first class session, I now love the class and can’t wait for the next one. The class provides an opportunity to meet new people who also have two left feet. It also gets my blood pumping and my endorphins racing. I always leave class feeling like I progressed and I’m smiling. Wouldn’t it be great to feel progressive and happy every day?
One of the best ways to get moving is to get moving. You don’t have to salsa but be sure to incorporate something to get you active. Take an afternoon walk. Bring your laptop to a coffee shop. Have lunch with a friend you haven’t seen for a long time. And if you’re ever up for it, come join me on the dance floor!
