How To Live in a Marathon of Moments
“Simply being yourself will make waves.” – The moon
On the 10th anniversary of the I-35W bridge collapse, I was on an airplane leaving Minneapolis and bound for southern California’s Pacific coast — not a bad alternative by any stretch of the imagination. I boarded the jet toward the back and plopped down into my window seat in a filled row. I sat next to a couple I would guess was in their mid-50s — the wife next to me and the husband in the aisle seat.
The three of us shared a small conversation. The couple was from the Twin Cities and was flying out to Portland to visit their son for a handful of days. When the chatter ended, I pulled out a copy of my memoir regarding the bridge collapse, as I hadn’t leafed through it in a very long time; I thought the anniversary might be a good time to reflect on my journey over the past decade. The husband, Dave, noticed what I was reading.
“Did you know that today is the 10th anniversary of the bridge collapse?” he asked me.
I chuckled and told him I did. Then I told him why I knew, and a small conversation naturally ensued. I asked him if he wanted to peruse the book, as I would rather take a cat nap anyhow. I passed off the tome and rested my head against the window.
When I awoke, his wife was now turning the pages. As the plane began to descend, I asked them if they wanted to keep the book. Dave said yes, but wouldn’t accept it at no charge. I told him he didn’t have to pay for the book, but he then insisted to at least pay for my autograph: the price of the book. So we agreed. I signed the book and scribbled my email address. The plane landed and we went our separate ways.
Today — roughly seven weeks later — I received this email from Dave:
Hi Garrett – I’m the fellow passenger on your flight out of Minneapolis August 1st who purchased the copy of your book you had on the airplane. In case you don’t recall I asked you to sign it and you included your email address.
I’m writing you for 2 reasons. One is to thank you for sharing the story of your journey as well as the other survivors you interviewed and chronicled in your book. It was both sobering and uplifting.
The other reason has more to do with Providence. You see, my wife and I have hit a significantly tough time in our 34 year marriage and after we both read the book we realized we can keep working at it. And about the time of this trip I noticed a lump on my neck. After several doctor visits and tests at Mayo I learned this week I have a form of blood cancer. Treatable but will involve some rough weeks and months ahead. I want to tell you that having read about the challenges you experienced and conquered will be an inspiration to me in the coming months. So it was perhaps a bit more than fate that brought you to our aisle.
Oh! One more. I’m training to run my third marathon in a week, and have been getting help from a sports massage therapist. When I told her my news yesterday I learned that, of all the massage therapists I could’ve gotten connected with, I chose the one who’s husband is a PhD working for a company that makes cancer fighting medicine, and she’s offered him up as a resource for my questions as I begin my journey.
You Impact Others
Wow. What an amazing message I had just received. Sitting next to this couple on the airplane, I had no idea that their marriage was struggling, and I certainly had no idea that Dave was teetering on the edge of cancer. I also hadn’t expected to hear from Dave after that brief moment on the plane.
I’m not sharing the message as a means of “Hey, look how impactful I am!” Like most of us, I look in the mirror and see a terribly flawed human being whose success and growth is most hampered by myself getting in my own way. I’m simply a person with a story. Just like you are.
And that’s my point. We have a million moments in a day and countless interactions with others in a lifetime. We can become blind to the substance of others because we are wrapped up in the minutiae. Our interactions are topical and superficial intentionally. We nod, smile and go our separate ways.
I challenge us as people to dig a little deeper. There is so much beauty inside all of us that most miss, including ourselves. I hope Dave and his wife figure it out. I’m going to share with him my new favorite book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman. I’m going to pray that his cancer treatment works. And I’m going to be inspired by a man going through those two things who can still run a marathon. If he can accomplish those three things, Dave has me beat by a long shot.
