Of Mice and Men

“The best-laid schemes of mice and men oft go astray.”

I’m on the 10th hole and I’m off in the woods. I can’t find my golf ball amongst the thicket. That’s how life feels at the moment, anyway, as my thoughts waft between the bottle of Honey Weiss and the smoke of an Ashton. Black and white has spun into an all gray. I think back to my youth, when it was all black and white, or at least that’s what I was taught. God vs. the Devil. Morality vs. Evil. Right vs. wrong. Everything was spelled out. Follow the map. Life can’t go wrong.

You graduate. You go to college. You fall in love. You get married. You make babies. You work. You retire. You bounce grandchildren on your knee. You die.

But as I slink toward 40, I have realized that black and white is as much a myth as Middle East peace. It’s all gray. We float through relativism. Absolute truth is a quest diverted by the gray.

We all have perceptions. For a long time I have worn the badge of Golden Boy. I am no such thing. That’s not bad, it’s just real. I’m not Walter White. I’m not Betty White. I’m somewhere in between.

I used to shun the gray. I felt it had no answers. Now I think it might hold all the answers. I think George Milton would agree.