Understanding Trauma Triggers
In the world of post-trauma, triggers can dictate the flow of daily life. Triggers are psychological stimuli that draw survivors back to a traumatic experience in various ways. They can be dramatic or subtle. They come out of nowhere. And they can ruin a day or longer for both the survivor and those around them.
Examples of triggers include flashbacks or panic attacks. Or they can create instances of frustration, irritation, or a need to disassociate.
For me, it is the unexpected occurrence that triggers. I become edgy when either I don’t know the path laid out before me, or worse, when the plan is unexpectedly altered. Before I understood my trigger, any sidestep immediately caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. My chest would tighten. I’d hold my breath. And then I’d start an argument in an attempt to regain control.
Why? My trauma, like many others’, happened out of nowhere. A bridge beneath me crashed into a river. Bridges aren’t supposed to do that. If I could no longer trust the surface beneath my feet, what could I trust? So I craved knowing what was going on around me and what I was about to walk into. I became hyper vigilant, and still am today. If somebody or something alters that notion, my brain goes into “fight or flight” mode.
That was especially problematic because i had married someone whose whole modus operandi was “free spirit.” She was a living variable, and we instantly went from sugar and spice to oil and water. We didn’t realize it at the time. Rather, it was “Garrett has changed.” I was the problem, or at least that’s how it felt to me. And that brought with it a ton of guilt. I was now something I didn’t want to be, nor did I ask for. And my life was unraveling because of it, and I had no answer. Our path ultimately ended at divorce.
It wasn’t until I wholly understood my trigger a decade or more later that I could start to recognize it on the front end. Putting a label on it made it easier to deal with. It became an external “thing” rather than the intrinsic part of me that I had falsely believed it to be for years.
I can’t stress this enough: If you haven’t understood your triggers, you won’t be able to begin to manage them. And if you can’t manage them, you’ll continue to watch your relationships fray and ultimately break. If you need a professional to help you determine your trigger(s), go find that person. Do everything you can because not doing so will mean more than just losing yourself.
